Temporarily Out of Service...

When we got through the summer, I had such high hopes for the fall.  I thought for sure that with children nestled all snug in their classrooms, that I would have quiet mornings to get some of my favorite things done, like blogging, and enjoy some peace and quiet as I pad around the house with two sleeping kids.  It's mid-October, and I'm still waiting.  Instead of carefree time and reading books on a comfy couch, my days are more like a giant, daily, slide than anything else.

Just like climbing UP the steps of the slide, my mornings start with an uphill battle: me getting up is the first hurdle - especially if Isaiah was up a lot in the night, followed by getting everyone ELSE up.  Then its getting breakfast, doing some scripture study with the kids, and the "showering/dressing/bedmaking" rigmarole that needs to take place before the "find your backpack/shoes/homework" scurry, so we can send off daddy and the first two to school. *breathe!*

Next rung up is "Morning Madness" of gathering clothes, stacking dishes and putting away breakfast followed by the "Morning Machine Race" where I start my house working for me before I am buried by IT.  Laundry in, dishwasher started, quick vacuum (which is almost so quick it looks as though it didn't even happen at all,) and a check at my dinner list to see what needs to be bought/thawed/prepped.

After that, the next step is usually the first load of laundry ready to be folded.  Somewhere in there a toddler needs attention, and there were some diaper changes in there.  Then my Kinder comes home.  After the big climb up, it is allllll downhill from here. If it's not done by now, its probably not gonna get done today.

Open backpack to see what homework *I* (sic) now have.  Seriously, a Kindergartner is supposed to come up with a creative way to do a "self-portrait" on a gingerbread cookie? When was the last time your kinder asked for some ric rac, was responsible with glue, and even cared that the stupid project even got done??  More digging; A Sally Foster fundraiser. *sigh* and it's RED RIBBON week.  Hooray. So on top of a bonkers morning I also have to facilitate the crazy hat/pajamas/crazy hair and athletic wear???!!!  All this so that my kids will not do drugs.  They'll just LOOK like they're doing drugs - for a week.

Do that homework, put baby down for a nap and read the library book they sent home with a check list, "15 minutes a day to reading success! *smiley*."  Then put everything BACK in the backpack and get ready to get big Sis.  Who also has homework.  Some of which is actually appropriate for her age.  Since the grocery store is by her school, I get to go shopping with ALL the kids, as I wonder how on earth I ran out of pancake syrup and milk in just one weekend (aka "what my kids did this weekend while Mum and Dad were cleaning the grungy carpet....").  Yes, its like Ralphie on the slide, as someone comments to me, "You look really tired kid."  Really?  I thought it was on top of it! AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh. *thud*

Finally, with the whole crew out of school, errands completed, and back home. Cue the whining as we start the "do your bit" part of tidying - which could also be named, "Mommy could do it faster AND better, but I am raising productive children and not plants" portion of the day.  Kids complain and drag their feet while accomplishing such mammoth tasks as putting away their own laundry, unloading part of the dishwasher, and helping set the table - cuz now its time to start getting dinner on the table.  And cleaned up. 

Then everyone in jammas.  Books to read, teeth to brush, and a slew of nighttime requests and "special appearances" of pajama'd kids, while I collapse into a comatose trance watching something like "Dancing with the Stars."

Somewhere in these days I have to wedge in plans for Halloween costumes, checkups, teacher's conferences, "minimal" school days, visiting teaching, the mountain of paper that magically appears on every horizontal surface, and extra projects that kinda make my head spin.  Oh how I despise you neighborhood ghost for giving me an extra project to complete in "just one day!" 

And that's the bottom of the slide.  It takes a day to get from top to bottom, and it will start alllll over again tomorrow.  I have had some blogging thoughts, but they just don't have the time to mature into a real post.

My Mother once said, "If you thought you had to do it all the time, you'd never make it.  So, just take it one day at a time, and things will change...." 

Yes they will.  The baby will sleep through the night. The toddler will get toilet trained, and some day - the kids won't want us to put them to bed.  But for now, its a daily trip up and down the slide.  Its crazy, its nuts, but it won't last forever.  I'm sorry blogging friends who keep stopping by for a lucid thought.

I'm like a log roller.  You are either on top of it, straddling it, or under it.  Right now, I'm just trying to stay on top of the log. We'll just have to hope for lucid thoughts later. ;D

Friendly Fire

Friendly Fire is inadvertent firing towards one's own or otherwise friendly forces while attempting to engage enemy forces, particularly where this results in injury or death, and though it doesn't really say so in the official definition, it seems to happen more in marriage than it does on the battlefield.  Well, the injury part - not the death part so much...

I recently had a "row" with my spouse, and after the smoke had cleared, and everyone had a chance to explain, we realized that due to bad communication, (and some situations out of context), we had turned our emotional guns on each other.

After a heated discussion over lunch, we left each other in a huff.  We are both of us rather stubborn individuals, and not likely to concede in a battle where we feel we are RIGHT.  That's what you want in a good lawyer, and it's what a good lawyer wants in a freaking awesome wife.  While stubbornness has its place in not getting walked on, the best lawyers are also the best diplomats.

After our little tiff then I was surprised that he asked me out to dinner. Texted me, actually.  Being married to a lawyer, I felt the need to be mentally prepared with logical arguments backing up my sound reasoning, and wasn't quite sure what I was in for.  But I knew that, by gum, if a ship was going down, it wasn't going to be my own.  After a toe-to-toe afternoon, I was ready for ROUND 2! *ding!*

So, it was surprising to learn that the conflict was actually a struggle at work. An insane work week filled with lots and lots of stress. He apologized for unloading on me - I had felt the full force of the blast, but the conflict had originated elsewhere.   A stupid comment from the night before had lit the powder-keg, and instead of turning our guns on the source, we had turned our guns on each other.

Pat Benatar croons that Love is a Battlefield, and in many ways it is.  The minute you get married, the world starts trying to tear you apart. Work wants all of you, children want all of you, and with what is left over, sustaining life takes its share in the form of cars, bills, and mortgages.  Grocery shopping, planning, kiddie care, lawn mowing and laundry also exact their due. What is left is usually two ragged and tired people. And the love that blossomed so easily while dating becomes ridiculously hard to keep growing!  Its far easier to snap at each other, blame, and point out faults. 

Unless.  Unless you do as Joshua Chamberlain told 20th Maine Volunteer Infantry Regiment when they were in a tight spot at Gettysburg and, "Fix Bayonets!".  During the Civil War, the men of the 20th Maine were up against the rocks of Little Round Top, outnumbered by the Confederates with nowhere to retreat. It was imperative to keep it together.

You see, if the Union line broke, the Confederates (red) would literally divide the Union army (blue) and conquer; surrounding the Union armies on both sides. (As shown in this lovely little pic -->)

After 3-4 hours of heated combat, the 20th Maine ran out of ammo.  With no means of being supplied, Col. Chamberlain hollered for the men, up and down the line, to ready themselves with nothing but the bayonet on the end of their musket, and to fight like hell. Which they did.  The Confederates never got behind that line.

No whinin', complainin' or nit pickin'. It was time to focus on the task at hand, the enemy at hand, and get the job done.  Marriage is like that sometimes.  There are "things"coming at you left, right and center with not enough time, energy, or money to easily deal with it.  And what a surprise that maturity is not always commensurate with age. (I'm pretty sure y'all would have thought our arguments were pretty stupid and petty.)   But if you let it, wisdom and experience will give you a birds-eye view of certain conflicts, and help you get the higher ground so you at least have a shot at a good outcome.

So, after a lovely dinner at the Texas Roadhouse, we did just that.  We walked around the grounds of the Timpanogos Temple.  We talked.  We strategized.  We listened to each other and exposed our weaker sides.  Now we know what to cover.  And our ship is not going down.

We are "fixing bayonets", identifying the true enemy, and we will not let anything divide us.  My dad told me something about how lucky he felt to marry my mom because, "She's the one you want with you in the fox hole!"

I always thought that was terribly unromantic, but wisdom has shown me how true it is, and how valuable to sustaining a marriage.  And I want my honey in the fox hole with me.  We are better together than we are apart, and he has got my back - and I have his.  So long as we keep our guns pointed in the right direction, we have a good chance of surviving this life long enough to enjoy it. So, "Fix Bayonets" baby, here we go.

Oops, I Did it Again...

This is supposed to be a therapeutic post.  I confess that I did it again: I wore the ugly shirt in the bottom of my drawer today, and ought to be publicly shamed for it. *breathes in*  I have tried to rationalize it, but the truth is - is that I did it out of convenience, and I should have had better sense.

Yes, it was the only thing that would go with my stretchy yoga pants, but that can no longer be an excuse. Because, I say "go" but I only mean that in the most obtuse fashion sense.  It "goes" better than a button up shirt.  Its also easy to nurse in, and I know, I know!  Convenience aside, when you start looking really bad, its time to stop being so lazy.  I got to this point by neglect.  I neglected to take it out of my drawer. Matthew and I stayed up late watching Jim Gaffagin (neglecting to get to bed on time), and then I neglected to get up early, and had to hurry and get Abigail out to horse camp this morning - and it was there!!!

In a rush to get out the door, I grabbed what was clean and handy.  Only, we went to a family reunion in Idaho this weekend, so there wasn't a whole lot of "clean" to choose from.  And as I was rifling through my drawers there it was.  Its a white shirt that I bought while I was expecting.  The ribbed sleeves, neckline and waist looked fairly cute for someone who was clearly having a baby, and clearly wanting her shirt to cover underneath the bulge.  But many washes and a 3 month old baby later, I have been meaning to toss it. Its time, its old, and it is NOT flattering.  Its down right trashy lookin'.  But then I just put it on ... one more time; until I go shopping for a better one, or until I can wear a smaller size, until I find something athletic that "goes" with yoga pants (yet can also be respectable in the grocery store,) etc. etc.

Then, like today, I catch myself in the mirror and jump back with a, "GAAAH!  I should NEVER wear this ugly shirt in public AGAIN!  I look like I just waltzed out of the trailer park!!!  Oh me, why don't I have the sense god gave a lemon when it comes to getting dressed?"  So.  I'm gonna do it.  I'm gonna wash it. And. And DI it.  Just so long as I can get it in the DI bag before I need a convenient shirt to nurse in.  Dang.  Maybe just keep it for days where I don't leave the house in it...

Confessions of a School Mom

I don't like the summer this year.  There I said it out loud.  Or at least wrote it. I am a school mom in a summer hell, and if I didn't think it would traumatize the children, I would make a paper chain of days left until they go back to school.  Danika asked me what has happened to me.  My blogging has dropped off completely; no pics, no witticisms, and nothing thoughtful.  How can I explain that - mainly due to this massive inconvenience to my life - I can barely keep it all together, let alone THINK.

The house looks like it has been tumbled through the dryer, and I have to fight for the will to sit in my kids room and tell them, again, to pick it up.  Make their bed.  Get those toys off the floor. Put your clothes ON. *siiiigh* Of course, I didn't know that there was a difference between a "school mom" and a "summer mom" until I took an innocuous survey that would tell you; it basically tests whether you like your days scheduled and structured, or more free flowing and spontaneous. After 10 incredibly "scientific" questions the result was overwhelming. *angelic chorus*  I am a 97% Bonified School Mom.  Why?

Because I love the school time of year.  I love that we all have to get up, get dressed, and have to GO somewhere. I can make a quick early morning stop at the store, right after the last kiddo springs merrily off to class.  The small kids take naps as scheduled, and in that peace and quiet of the morning I can BLOG, get the laundry going, pad about the house picking up stuff without anyone undoing it, start the dishwasher, wipe off the counter, and thoughtfully prepare for dinner and what the afternoon will bring.  I make phone calls during this quiet time - either to make appointments, research, or call a friend to catch up without being peppered by children's tattling, and questions about whether they can have some juice RIGHT NOW, and random screaming.  I am organizing, recharging, and putting my little world to rights.

Summer is none of these things.  And with a newborn babe, a busy road by my house, and young kids not old enough to self-supervise, it is ESPECIALLY none of these things.  I sat in a friends house yesterday, and confessed my hatred of Otter pops.  She has 6 of her own kids and said, "Oh I KNOW!  The clipped ends all over, the drippy syrup, sticky fingers, sticky faces and stained clothes!  I told my husband that if he ever brings them home again, he's dead meat!!"  Oh soul sister.  Thank you.  I didn't have to say it.

You see, when other mothers beam about the delights of having their kids home for the summer, I have always felt a particular guilt that either I was a rotten mom, or that I had rotten kids.  Now I understand that it is neither of those things.  I am a great mom - 9 months out of the year!  My kids have homework done on time, projects completed, and an awesome "Market Day" entrepreneurial experience!  They wear clean clothes, have early morning scripture study, get to school.... pretty close to on time, with their backpack, lunch and permission slip signed!  Later on, we have a sit down dinner at the table.  With a fruit, vegetable, and  A CLEAN TABLE CLOTH!

I scream A LOT less during those months....

But for now, it is summer.  It is hot.  We are home.  All of us.  All the time.  We are sick of each other.  Everything fun requires time and money, but worst of all it requires getting everyone dressed and into the car.  And I don't want to take a newborn to the pool and simultaneously try to keep the 2 yr old from drowning.  Grocery trips are a nightmare for all of us.  I hate the germs (and the food) associated with the play land.  It is not fun for me to keep having to do a head count to make sure no one is being molested. The vegetable project is a failure; meaning that the strawberry plants died, but the pumpkins and weeds are growing like gangbusters.  Every time I pull into the garage I think that we should organize it, followed immediately by the thought that it is too hot to organize it right now.

I am weary.  I am out of synch.  There is cereal on the counters and the floor.  The spot of toothpaste that I meant to get up off the carpet has been upgraded to "needs the carpet cleaner" status.  And I would do it, if the kids could ever stop tromping on the hallway carpet.  I am just not a summer mom.  This is not fun for me, and I will be glad when it is all over. And when it is you will see me blogging once more and doing this:

Time Saver #1: Dealing with Dinner

As we are getting ready for baby, a lot of things are getting "prepped."  I was talking to my sonographer about frozen meals, and she was so amazed that she was taking notes, so here is my wisdom, THUS FAR about taking care of dinner. It is the blending of three idealogies:

• Once-a-month cooking
• Marie Rick's "House of Order"
• and Sandra Lee's Money Saving Meals.

 After attending Marie Rick's "House of Order" seminars, she suggested that knowing well in advance what you are going to make for dinner saves you time, energy, and most of all frustration.

Having a plan gets the decision making out of the way early in the day, and if you strategically plan your meals, you can multi-task the prep work.  After all, it's just as easy to cook 6 lbs of hamburger and onions as it is to do 2.    It also facilitates grocery shopping, and keeps you away from expensive (and often unhealthy) fast food.  If you are going to have, say, pears as your fruit for 6 of your dinners in a month, you can get a case of pears and be set for 2 -3 months.

So, with that in mind I made this grid on excel: 5 weeks of meals including a main dish, a V: = vegetable and F= fruit.  I took a poll of what dinners my family would like to see in a month, then gathered all of my recipes together and decided on 7 categories for each day of the week.  For Example: Mondays are set aside for Family Home Evening, so I do my quickest recipes then so that I can ALSO have the time to help the kids make a treat.  I dubbed it "Dump It" night - my fast recipes that I can make in under 20 minutes.

After naming each genre of the week, I pulled/copied the recipes for the month in a single binder and put them in plastic sheet protectors (knowing how sloppy my cooking can be).  I also printed out a copy of my Month O'Meals  and have it taped it to the fridge.  It was a bit harder than I thought, and it's not perfect yet, but here it is! One month of recipes. One place to look for what I need.  This way, I can take the whole binder with me when I go the grocery store and flip through a week or two of recipes to see what I'll  need. Slick! 

Part of my weekly genres include recipes from the Food Network Show, "Sandra Lee's MSV, or "money saving meals."  I tivo the show every Sunday, and have been trying out her recipes much to the delight of my family - I've never made Greek food before!  Even better, she has a "Round 2 Recipe," where you reserve some of the ingredients from your first recipe, and for a few ingredients more, comes up with another meal.  It cuts down on my prep time, and helps me to feel a little bit ahead of the 8 ball.

Lastly, freezer meals.  Once-a-Month Cooking is both a book and a technique.  Matthew and I used this in our college days when no one was home to prep dinner. We would make a list of meals from the books "Frozen Assets" and "Once-a-Month Cooking, then go grocery shopping on Friday night, leave all the cans out on the counter, and put it together on Saturday morning.

Most recipes can  be stored in a gallon sized zip lock bag.  You freeze them flat, then line them up in your freezer shelf like library books.  There are often a few "extras" that go with the meal, like chopped tomatoes/avocados on "Sopa de Maize," or Frito's,  but that is minimal work compared with having to make the whole thing.

I have, currently, about 17 meals in the freezer.  Do I follow any of these plans strictly?  Heck no. Each technique has it's merit, and by combining them, it gives me time and it gives me options.  At the end of the day, you do what works best for you and your family. 

But I can say that having a plan, and simple techniques is much better than trying to make it up every day.  I hope to be SO organized one day that I can have FOUR binders of month long recipes.  Winter, Spring, Summer (YAY GRILLING!) and Fall.  In my mind, I'll have everything plotted out by what is in season cross checked by what grocery stores usually have on sale. Cue "Dream the Impossible Dream...."

But I can't think about that now.... I'll have to think about it tomorrah... after I pull out mah freezer meal!

Time Saver #2: Bathroom Apprentice

Many of you already know that I love a clean bathroom.  I don't like actually cleaning the bathroom, but I love the effect afterwards.  As time has gone by, Matthew and I split up the stewardship of the bathrooms.  I let him choose which one he wanted to police, and then we would make sure that "our" bathroom got cleaned every Saturday. 

This way, I don't have to be the only one hollering around the house, "Pick up your towel - the maid is off duty this week!  Who tried to finger paint in the tooth paste?!!!  I see clothes on the floor here... come pick these up - THIS IS NOT A HOTEL!!!"

One Saturday though, as I was scrubbing out the toilet, it occurred to me that it was a bit unfair to have the parents scrubbing away while the kids were out there watching tv.  Frankly, it was that way just because it was easier to get them out of the way - and they didn't know how to clean the bathroom anyway.  Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

"Hon, how 'bout we split up the kids and make each one our apprentice for cleaning the bathroom?  Once we teach them how to do it, they'll take over the bathrooms..."  He thought it was genius.  He got the 9 yr old, and I got the 5 yr old. 

Now, we are training up our brood to properly clean the bathroom.  For the past month, we take our apprentice and show them how we do it.  Matthew and I use a technique that we learned from Jeff Campbell's dvd "Speed Cleaning."  Matthew is closer to freedom than I am, but let me tell you something - just having all of the stuff taken out of the bathroom (towels, bathmat, hand soap, toothbrushes, shampoo, soap, garbage can etc.) makes it go twice as fast!  And while I'm scrubbing out the tub, my 5 yr old is wiping down the dusty base boards. 

I'm still cleaning off the majority of the surfaces, but he is right there with me.  And he loves the challenge of getting it done before Daddy and Abigail.  Especially since he is allowed to go watch tv and sit on his tat while his sister is learning the finer points of wiping down the toilet seat.

And the bathrooms?  Since employing our apprentices, they seem to have stayed - CLEANER. Well, lets just say that those two kids have a more keen interest in making sure that THEIR bathroom doesn't become a mess.... ;D  And that makes for a happier momma!

Time Saver #3: The Blitz

Or, "How to Clean an Entire Kitchen in 10 - 15 minutes."  This technique was invented by my parents.  It is based on Hitler's advancement tactic called "The Blitzkrieg."

In German, Blitzkrieg means lightning war (Blitz-Krieg). Blitzkrieg was named so because it included surprise attacks, "Lighting fast" rapid advances into enemy territory, with coordinated massive air attacks, which struck and shocked the enemy as if it was struck by lightning. The German military in WWII achieved most of its great victories with the Blitzkrieg tactic, and it's also how I clean my kitchen. Well, without Hitler, or the artillery.


Rules: 

1. Everyone helps. Family, friends, guests.  No one is, as my 5 yr old says, "Sittin on their tat!"  There is a warning sent out by father, "okay, we're about to Blitz..." which means, "If you have to use the bathroom, make a phone call, tie your shoe etc. you have about one flat minute to do so.."  My mom believes that having dad lead the way was key. No one had an excuse to slack off.  If dad, who works all day, can help for 10 minutes, so can you!
2. Once "Blitz" is called, rockin' music is selected (some of us have playlists on our ipods, and the kids can sometimes pick the music - though be careful.  We had to listen to Abigail's school musical for quite a few evenings...), and everyone gets up, clears their plate, and starts on a job; load the dishwasher, clear off a counter/stove, put away left overs, scrub/dry pots n pans, take the chairs out of the room (then put them back when the floor is dry), sweep and/or mop the floor etc.  There is a job for every skill level.  Even wiping down the appliances and cupboards makes a huge difference!
3. If anyone who ate dinner has disappeared, anyone may call your name, "So and So is out of the room!" and in a rapid fire manner the whole family starts to count to 10.  If a body part of the missing individual does not make it into the kitchen before the family reaches 10, the remainder of the kitchen is left for that person to clean by themselves. 
4. Try and get it done in under 10 minutes. Always try and beat your best time.

In such a short time, you have clean counters, clean floor, the dishwasher is running, the sink is scrubbed out, dinner is put away, the appliances gleam, and no one had to spend more than 10 minutes working.

This picture isn't my kitchen, but you get the idea. This is so much better to look at 10 minutes after slaving away at dinner instead of a messy counter and sink full of dishes.  Many hands make light work. It's lightening fast, and the dirt in the kitchen never knew what hit it!