Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Just as Nasty as you Remembered it...

It hasn't happened in years.  Though I have been prepared for it, I haven't had to actually MAKE any powdered milk.  Then, through a series of events, I was left without a choice; there was no way to fill up on milk, and go to all of my appointments, AND have something for Sam's nap.  So I made some.

Using my ingenious knowledge of quarts and gallons, I swished out the last of the dregs of our last gallon of milk, set aside the bottle *taps forehead*, and then poured 3 cups of powdered milk into one hot quart of water and mixed thoroughly with a whisk.  It had an odd bubbly familiarity.  Familiar because my mom had done it before.  Odder yet because it definitely had the appearance of milk.

"Maybe powdered milk in the new millennium is better than what my mom had..." I thought to myself.  I continued to REALLY mix, convincing myself that the warm water was getting out ALL of the nasty clumps that would betray it's humble powdered beginnings.  Added 3 more quarts of freezing cold water, and stuck it in the fridge.  It LOOKED just like the last gallon of milk!  SUCCESS!!

Since then, I have been cheerfully substituting it in my cooking, in Sam's bottle, and leaving it out for the kids.  And the gallon is nearly out.  I decided to, tentatively, take a little sip.  It has chilled overnight, it looks like milk, and Sam took it for the second time in a row with no complaints.  This bodes well!

OH MY DISGUSTING!!!!!! It was not only AS bad as I remembered it - IT WAS WORSE! My brain had convinced myself that it couldn't be as bad as it had been.  It was SOOOO nasty tasting, and I wasn't prepared for the after shock gag, either.  If I had had ANY food in my stomach, it would have been all over the floor.

Some people say they love it, and that if the milk is properly chilled you can't even tell the difference.  Let me tell you friends, IT IS A LIE!  It's the same lie that Diet Soda drinkers tell their fat friends, "Ohhhhh, you get used to it, until you don't notice it anymore..." Lies, all lies!!!  If you are one of these, and can so deaden your taste-buds to not notice, then PLEASE!  Come over and have some powdered milk!  We have lots! I'm sure you won't be able to tell the difference!  If you can voluntarily drink diet soda AND powdered milk, hell! you could probably get used to guzzling TURPENTINE!

But as for me, we will have the good stuff thank you very much!  You can keep your diet, your powdered, and your turpentine. Now excuse me while I go drag my tongue along the carpet to get rid of this nasty taste in my mouth!!!  EHhhhwwww. BLECH!


Annette said...

hahahahaha the things parents do to their children. hahahahaha Mike hates PM since that is all his mom would let him drink. He refuses to even buy any. But I'm with you on this one. PM is not one of natures finest miracles. But I did get some chocolate type of substance that wasn't too bad. Mike still refused to drink it. I should go check Craig's list to see if someone is selling a milk cow.

Danika said...

I have yet to read one of your posts that didn't have me laughing by the end!

Thanks to an awesome tip by Meredith I always keep a quart made up in my fridge that I use in all my baking & cooking. Can't ever taste the difference. Except once I used it in tomato soup. Big mistake! We don't drink it, though.

Though I've heard of a new kind (not church cannery stuff, that stuff is nasty) that tastes exactly like regular milk. Last time I was at the food storage store he was out of it because it's so popular. If/when I ever taste it I'll let you know the results.

Nicole said...

You are an amazing writer. One of these days you should publish a book with all of your memoires. I also had to laugh when I came to your blog and saw the google ad that popped up... Powdered Milk! How is that for irony?

Tony and Ann said...

Check out "Morning Moo" milk--available all over Utah, and comes in white, chocolate and (?) strawberry. Not quite like the real thing, but nothing like the storehouse stuff, and not BLECH either. It's what we will be taking when we go on a canoe trip this summer. You can google it-- (PS I'm Sarah's mom)

Laura said...

Hahahaha! This IS a funny post. Glad we "met" via FB - I always enjoy a good laugh!
Incidentally, I feel the same way about powdered milk. Yet, oddly, I have gallons of it in my food storage. Heaven help us if we actually have to drink it!

Meredith said...

I have Country Cream - even better than Morning Moo. I get it where Danika mentioned. I have some in the fridge as we speak!

By the way...my PAINTING was done before Kate as born, you goon. :) Granite in. It is beautiful! Plumbing hooked up tomorrow!

Erika said...

You're a hoot. I do the same thing. Mix with a little real milk, feed to the children, use in cooking...but I don't drink it. I sometimes use a teeny bit in my cereal but that's only if I'm desperate. I have heard good things about Morning Moo though, I'll have to try it or Country Cream.

And thanks a lot for your diorama sugar egg suggestion, now I can't quit thinking about wanting to try it! AAAAaaack! Too many projects... not enough time, oh and too many kids!

And I do NOT have a green thumb either. That's why I was so excited the grass grew so splendidly!!