Monday, April 8, 2013

How to Clean the Fridge When you don't Want to

There are certain jobs connected with living that are secondary jobs.  If they are not done, your world does not fall down.  Things like... mowing the lawn, organizing your craft section and one of the most glaring of secondary jobs, cleaning out the fridge.  I hate doing it.  The doing is gross, sticky, pickle-mixed-with-chocolate-sauce and chicken-blood gross.  Unfortunately for me, I do NOT have anyone else in my home that has an OCD-need to keep a pristine, well oiled, defrosted and spiffied-up refrigerator   So.  The only one to notice that it is gross enough to require attention is... me.  If you are like me, you may need a little encouragement to attack this disgusting task.  I hereby offer up my solutions for attacking this unsavory secondary job.

#1 - The first step in attacking this truly disgusting task is to KNOW that you need to do it. That means that you *need* to first take an afternoon off, go over to the cupcake store and really soul search on what your "disgusting" level is.  Exactly HOW bad does it have to get before you just can't stand it anymore? At what point are you moved to action, - and does that level of mold perhaps need adjusting?

#2 - After you have found, and met, your disgusting level quota, and KNOW that you need to do it, grab your phone.  I did this very successfully today.  I dialed up my darling friend Mish (when I say that name, you should automatically think to yourself, "Oh I LOVE her!").  As I sat there staring down my gross fridge, we started talking about THE grossest fridge we have ever had to clean - in great detail.  I pull up my bra strap, and wedge my phone in there so that I am "hands free." As you continue this very vivid description of former filth, it should encourage you to grab the 409 and a cleaning rag.  Ya know, the rag that is actually a small towel.

#3 - After your have a good discussion of disgusting fridges rolling, your 409, and a towelrag, just start taking stuff out and putting it on the counter.  Don't look at it.  Just put it on the counter.  Unless it is leaking.  Put that in the sink.  As the conversation moves to gross people you can't believe live in such squalor  just take out one shelf at a time, scrub it good, and leave it out to dry. When it gets to the bins, scrub inside and out, then turn them like a cake you are decorating while spraying down each side.  Turn the bin, not the sprayer so that you are always spraying IN to the sink, not on the counter, or the floor.

#4 - With your towelrag, and an empty fridge, start to spray the insides of the fridge, and then wipe and start to work your way down.  When you hit the bin area, just spray like you're putting out a fire.  Scoop up all of the fridge crumbs, dried milk and unspeakable dross into the rag until there is nothing left but clean plastic. If you describe this part in detail to your friend, she will start to clean her fridge as well.

#5 - Then, it's time to just enjoy yourself as you start to restock.  Toss the moldy yogurt(s), group all 4 bags of bread that were breeding in the back shelves, and you may discover that you now have 5 bags of carrots that you keep buying because you can never remember if you have them while grocery shopping.  You just always remember that you need them and were gonna use for a roast/snack a couple of weeks ago.  As you start to put everything back into happy groups, (how did I get 6 blocks of cream cheese and 7 sticks of butter?) you may discuss new recipes to put the carrots in, or, just as a random suggestion, talk about those self-righteous cleaning nuts who clean their fridge every week.  I plead the 5th, and admit to nothing here.  However, if those topics don't suit you, you can move on to other important topics like food storage, and whether or not you need a solar generator.

But the simple fact will remain - you have just cleaned the fridge.  And as you swing the door open and a choir of angels sing, you can smile each time you gaze into your sparking fridge.  And should someone need to borrow some butter, you will now know whether or not you actually have some, and encourage them to go fish for it themselves.  This is so much better than having that shifty-eyed look of a car thief when someone asks to get something out of your semi-disgusting fridge.

And always, always, thank your friend for their help. Spread the love, and celebrate your success by reminding your husband that its time to mow the lawn.....

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I am starting to agree with you. I think the major challenge in cleaning out a fridge is mainly psychological. Haha. I do agree though. Fridges are some sort of Narnia to some people and it’s like opening one leads you to discover something dark and unwanted. Haha. I do love your cleaning tips though. Thanks! :)

Lewis Simpson