Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Black n' Blue

Every once in awhile, I'll get to feeling like Spiderman when he is attacked by the alien "Venom."  That is the black goo that gets all over him, and just makes him dark all over.

Most of the time, it seems like I can handle life; I have goals I'm achieving (if only getting through the laundry and getting everyone picked up on time), and I can balance the things in life in front of me.  I'll be going along my merry way, and then - almost like a cloud descending, I just get very blue.  Sometimes it is the proverbial "thorn in the side," of things in my life that I can't change, or am challenged with often enough that I just feel worn down by them.

And like Spiderman, I want to retreat, up high somewhere - alone, and hope that it will pass.  I try to avoid the phone at these times  because I simply can't be all chipper and my positive, well-balanced, self.  I brood. I fret. I feel like sleeping for 100 years.  But part of the uneasiness, is that I  KNOW that it's not my regular self.  If clanging a bunch of metal would get me out of it, I'd be running to the nearest bell tower - at least that's how it worked for Spiderman.  I haven't tried it, now that I think about it.  But I'm pretty sure that it would only give me a headache.

It will pass, and life will take a gentle curve up.  But for now, I'm just somewhere in the black to blue range.  Some people would not approve of sad/ depressed/ unhappy times, and are anxious to get you out.  But for now, I'm gonna wallow in it, get all pruny, and then move on when the darkness starts to fade.  We can't all be super heroes all the time, right?


Danika said...

Sending lots of hugs your way! LOVE YA! :)

Annette said...

So I am OLD! How old is your baby? I didn't get the baby blues with Rob until he was almost 9 months old... My Dr. back then said they can happen all the way up until the babies are a year old. Hang in there... and know you are loved. And it's okay to feel blue! Just don't stay there! Feel free to give me a call... if you want someone to chat with.... not that you don't have tons of other people to chat with you but know you are fine and it's probably your body getting back to normal. Well personally I'm not sure I ever went back normal but hey... it's normal for me now! LOVE YOU!

Sarah E. said...

I agree. Sometimes I think it's the Yin-yang of things. You can't really feel the joy of life if you never face the pits of it. Sometimes I find the greatest joy for absolutely no reason. It seems fair that it should work the other way around too.

I'm sorry you are feeling blue. You'll make it through. If I know anything about you I know that! But until then, grab a good tear inducing book, put the kids to bed early and fill up the tub. A hot soak and a good cry will lead to a good nights sleep, which will then lead to a better day! Love you!

Anonymous said...

Maam, there are pleanty of us out here who just love your insight on life's true 'isms . We all get blue every now and then; A good friend use to make me watch the " King and I " when they were down. Me I like to watch the sound of Music. Just something about those perfect life stories with music that warms the cockles of your heart. Try it, I am sure you will me smiling and forgetting your blues by the end of the musical.

Reggs said...

Awww katrink!! You can always come hang out at my house for a pick me up. But seriously, I would get that way too, until my lovely wonderful ANTI DEPRESSANTS came along! I get the generics and they're cheap. I would definitely talk to your PCP about 'em. It sucks remembering to take them every night, but being released from the pits of despair...priceless.
Love you love you! Always a super hero to me!

Lisa said...

Well, I feel like a total SCHMUCK! You wrote this five days ago and I just now see it. So glad I could offer you some time away and laughs when you were down! Sorry! My week was just a tad bit crazy. However, I loved hanging out at Kneaders with you guys last night! Love you!