Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Accessing the Heavens

Today was one of those days where I really wanted to have a one-on-one information download with God. Due to the recent move, I will need to get a Christmas letter out before the end of the month to announce that ONCE AGAIN, we have MOVED.

This spawned a whole litany of questions about how life has turned out, how did I get from here [random childhood point A]to here [present insanity]. How am I going to "spin" this one, and really, should I have to? Am I on a path of enlightenment or is it all just one huge cosmic joke?

I tried to get all of the elements in place for true communication - well as much as is possible for a mom with two kids at home. I set up Sam in the excersaucer, and put on "Dexter's Labratory" for Benjamin - then went to take a shower.

As all of my experiences and crisis of the past washed over me, and a whole lot of thoughts of "WOW, that's not fair... " or "What did I do to deserve THAT?" or "What in the HECK was the purpose of going through THAT?" And I'd pause every now and again to allow God to answer for Himself. (I try to be courteous to the Almighty).

I've heard of people having true revelations of thought and inspiration. I felt that I was due, and I could certainly use some divine explanation. So I thought I'd just wait and listen - patiently, and be in that spot to hear, or FEEL what in the heck is going on in my life. I pulled out all of my pondering, searching, and inspirational reflexes. Trying to reach beyond this mortal world of cares and shortsightedness and stretch my soul enough to tap into the eternal purpose of my life. Straining to hear, trying to not run through my laundry list of "to do"s and focusing on that still small voice, that seems to be ever on "mute," I sat and thought. And thought. And waited. Then decided that maybe God was on another line, and I should just have a sit. *waiting, waiting*

After laying down and staring at the ceiling for a long while, and feeling the water turn from warm to tepid as I waited for said inspiration, I just said, in a very deliberate, exasperated, and loud, "WHAT!?"

Well. God didn't answer me. But my toddler did, "What are you doing Mommy?!" Scared the life out of me! If I had been a cat, my claws would have been on the shower ceiling. I jumped so bad. "UH! HI! I didn't see you there! Uh, Mommy is taking a bath, and ... I washed my hair, but I'm all done now. Is your show over? OH KAY, time for you to get out now! Let's get ready to go to the store..."

So I left my sanctuary, none the wiser, but definitely scared out of my wits! What wisdom can I pass on to you, fair reader? How 'bout, "Be careful who you ask for direction, because you never know who will answer!!"


Anonymous said...
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Meredith said...

I wish I could have an answer for you, as Meredith the Almighty, but alas, I am only Meredith the Incredible. But at least you were trying to get an answer. And a nice long bath to boot. When was the last time you did that? That was a blessing, right?

Reggs said...

wow, i wonder what the deleted comment was!!

I am glad you are here, and all your experiences have made you what you are, and I think you're pretty awesome.

Joel said...

HAHA! Who knew that when you question God out loud.....the voice of Benjamin responds? LOLOL So were you talking out loud before your "WHAT?!" or was that the only thing you said? I'm wondering how long he was standing there listening. LOLOL
I think it sucks to have to pack and unpack your house (especially in a few days) but I am dang happy you are here now!

Lisa said...

OH! BTW, that comment is actually from me, not Joel, after I hit enter, I realized that he was signed in, not me!