Tuesday, February 5, 2008

How Do they Know??

How do my children know that daddy will be coming home late tonight? We had FHE yesterday night, with a nice dinner, time for Play Doh fun, bedtime stories, and family prayer. When, in the secret of the closed-door office, Matthew says that he'll be late tonight, the news travels - inexplicably - to my children's brains and launches the "Arc Out" sequence.

Dinner is a burrito on a plate, bedtime stories have been nixed due to time constraints, and there will be no extra requests! Despite these time saving devices, the whole night is thrown into chaos as mom discovers regurgitated gold fish crackers in the refrigerator water dispenser tray, mud has been tracked all over yesterday's pristine floor and clearly, from the smears and blobs on various surfaces, SOMEONE has been helping themselves to the yogurt. PJ's that were tidied yesterday are now strewn throughout the house, and garbage appears from every corner!

I am reminded of The Simpsons episode 195, where Lisa fears that the Simpson's genetics will make her dumber the older she gets. She imagines herself in a hammock wearing a mumu, and married to Ralph. She is so incapacitated that all she can say to her naughty kid is "stop it, stop it, stop it . . ." and it SCARES me that the only difference between her nightmare and mine is a hammock and mumu!! I am just that drained right now.

If anyone handles this differently, please let me know how to reverse the launch sequence. I am in the Bermuda Triangle of nighttime routine. I like a tranquil evening - I really tried! Now you'll have to excuse me while I go yell at my kids who are trying to get OUT of bed . . . "Stop it! Stop it! "


Meredith said...

hehehe...I shouldn't laugh but I am right there with ya. We had waffles. Mine was late too...just got home at 11:35. But we are on a new reward kick for them making sure the "kid zones" are picked up every night before bed. They are each earning a pair of $5 flip-flops from Wal-Wart.

Lisa said...

Oh, I wish I had an answer for you! However, I'm jealous that Meredith can bribe her children with flip flops this time of year....although, Eli would probably still wear flip flops in our 3 feet of snow if I let him. I've just come to accept the fact that every day from 3:30-8:00pm is pretty much chaotic at our house. I prepare for this by giving myself 30 minutes of "sit on my arse" time from 2:30-3:00 every day. My lifesaver is my frozen meals, seriously. You and Meredith should start a group!