Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Not One of THOSE Mom's . . .

In a recent discussion with my darling friend Mish, she described a mother who was "totally" into nutrition and all of the goodies she served up. I was aghast, and unnerved, that I have lived so long and never heard of:

Amaranth:Okay, it's grainy. It's round. Can't think of a thing to do with it.

Quinoa:A visual mix of seaweed/escargot. Looks a lot like Amaranth. Still no idea what to do with it. I mean, would you want to see that on your salad?

Oat Groats: (I am NOT making this up! Hence the picture.) Anything that sounds like "gross" I just don't go for. Anything that sounds gross, and LOOKS gross is just out of the question. This stuff is gray for crying out loud! Just look at it!

I'm sure that there is a real Oat Gross fan/officianado out there that is just over-the-moon about this stuff, so let me just say that I am not a complete rube when it comes to a variety of foods. I eat gray stuff too. There's Stroganoff, annnnnnnd, aaaannnnnnnnd, and I guess that completes our "what I eat that's gray" session. Wait! Vanilla chocolate chip ice cream! It can appear gray on occasion though, now that I think about it - if you leave it out on the counter for too long. So, two gray things. Now there's some variety for ya! It just doesn't leave any room for Oat Gross, I mean GROATS.

Millit: Aren't there, like pillows stuffed with this stuff, to make them form to your head?

agave syrup: Ummm, no idea, sounds like it would be that purpley exotic topping from the twirl-town rack they bring you at a Denny's for breakfast. THe one container that is always full, but at least you felt like you had a number of syrup choices for your pancakes.

Soy/Rice milkish substitute: Why substitute expensive milk, for the real stuff? Cereal with rice-smushed-to-look-like-milk vs. real milk? - Real milk wins, hands down. I do buy the soy stuff though, Matthew is lactose intolerant. He can't handle that regular "spicy" milk. He needs something milder than milk - so his tummy can handle it. We wouldn't want to go nuts, and overdo it on, uh, milk.

Anyway, 2% is more cost effective per gallon, and my kids love it. Our mutual acquaintance health-conscious mom is also dairy free, so they don't have any cheese, or milk, or yogurt. Anywhere. On anything. What is going to happen the first time her kids run across nachos? Probably offered to them by MY kids?

So, here and now I have decided that I would rather have my kids enjoy the blessings of foods that are found in large quantities at a regular priced grocery store than to graze through life on honest-to-goodness, never-would-crave it, grains. I guess I'm just one of THOSE kinds of moms. I feel so guilty. Please pass the pizza.

Now, now, before you peg me as too cynical, and a complete junk food idiot, I must tell you that if you would like some grains, I do have some in stock. Come on over and I'll make you some of my famous healthy oatmeal with brown sugar and chocolate chips on top. Yum! Now that's what I call healthy eating! Keeps the cholesterol down. ;D


Lisa said...

People feed there children this stuff? Poor kids. Come see Auntie Lisa and I'll make you some pigs in a blanket with some goldfish crackers on the side. Our favorite lunch! Mmmm

Danika said...

Don't feel bad...I'm one of "those moms" too!!! I love Sprouts for their cheap produce, but the rest of the store frankly scares me!I'm with you...bring on the pizza!

Meredith said...

Quinoa is incredibly high in protein or calories...or both. I think it is protein. I tried serving it to my family as a side (kinda like a couscous dish) then learned it was SO HIGH in protein that I practically OD'd my family with their protein allowance for the day!! But there is NO WAY my meat eating husband would eat it as a meat substitute. It looks like a side of pasta or rice, not a meal!!