Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hair Woes

I had noticed more-than-average hair around. On the floor, in the hairbrush, on the counter, in the car, wrapped around the vacuum roller etc. etc. and you might think, as I did, that having three young kids home for an Arizona summer would be enough to make anyone's hair fall out. It was when I brushed off a huge hunk from Abigail's head that I got a little freaked out.


Now, dear reader, look at the circumference of your pinkie, and just imagine that you brushed that much of a long stringy wad off of your child's head in just one swipe. The hair was there, on her head, and then it was in your hand.

"I don't knooooooow . . ."

I did a quick think. Was it just her? Nope, my hair had been falling out too. I'd wash my hair and just pull out strand after strand. The drain had been clogged. Sam's, predictably, was falling out. Maybe it was that flesh-eating virus that only attacks . . . hair.


I started brushing her hair vigorously to see the extent of the damage, and partially to prepare myself for what I would find when I brushed out my own hair. And then . . . how can I say this? There is a LOOK, a look that my child gives off, that betrays her quite effectively. She doesn't know that she does it . . . but I do. I stopped brushing and looked at her sternly:

"Abigail, tell Mama what happened to your hair."

I said it in that way that indicates, "I already know the answer, so just out with it - the jig is up." It was a total bluff, but it paid off.

"I wanted to look like a parasaurolophus (dinosaur)! I cut out a paper horn, and put it on a paper clip to stick it in my hair. But then it got nailed to my head and I couldn't get it off, so I cut it off . . ."

Ah. Yes. I see. She showed me the paper horn and the paper clip. Right. The cost of having a child with an active imagination. How the hair remained on her head until I brushed it is still a mystery to me. And now we have a shorn wad of hair, 'bout 2 inches long, at the crown of her head in the back. It sticks up no matter what you do.

It all made sense. As for me, I had forgotten that lots of your hair falls out after you have a baby. Oh, it's all coming back to me now! It's not a virus at all, it's life.

As I look around at my poor family, I realize that most of us are having hair woes. Matthew doesn't want any of his "distinguished gray's" pointed out, mine is falling out in heaps, Abigail now has a . . . a set of bangs on the BACK of her head, Benjamin's grows relentlessly forward, and Sam is going bald as he loses his downy baby hair. Its enough to make you rip out your hair! If you had any! But, as Igor said in Young Frankenstein, "Could be worse . . . could be raining!" *thunder clap*


Chelsea said...

lol. i mean, every kid goes through the phase of wanting to be a parasaurolophus, right? that's funny. and i hear you on the post-baby hair loss. it's been going on for 2 months for me. WHEN does it end? I can't remember.

Reggs said...

OH my gosh, my love for Abigail has just increased one hundred fold. I hope you saved the hair for her scrapbook. "here is the hair you lost when you wanted to have your own horn!" (sorry, its so funny when it happens to other people's kids!) Either way, get a good picture of the "bangs in the back".

Lisa said...

It's stories like this that endear me to Abigail even more! COMPLETELY INNOCENT! I love her imagination, seriously, it has impressed me since she was little. The day she entertained herself in time out with a string off her sock....I was amazed! I bet you NEVER hear the words "I'm bored" come out of her mouth. And you have to appreciate the fact that she solved her own problem. Kiss that girl for me.....right on her bald spot!

Lisa said...

Oh! BTW, I went to see "Hancock" tonight, and there's a part where the kid has a little plastic parasaurolophus and I BUSTED out laughing.....everybody was looking at me and didn't get what was so funny. I had to explain to Jeff and Shar.

Momma J said...

THAT IS FREAKIN HILARIOUS!! oh man, i can't stop laughing. lol i can't wait to see her on sunday. i'll do my best to keep a straight face when i ask her who gave her the beautiful haircut. :)

as far as your hair falling out... welcome to the club! i swear i can fill up my brush with hair every time i brush it. i heard it's the worst after having a boy (i'll take their word for it as i haven't experienced the other "kind"). i suppose it's nature's way of thinning out hair! maybe if i'd start nursing the DH it would cease... i know it's gross but i heard from reggs that it's the cool thing to do! :) Yummy!

Joel said...

I am trying to think of something to say but I'm speechless. What an AMAZING imagination! I love that she thought about making a paper horn and the paper clips. Priceless!

Anonymous said...

PICTURE PICTURE!!! I want to see a picture of this. I vow to ALWAYS take pictures of my kids every time they cut their own hair. I still lament that I don't have a picture of myself the time I shaved a part of my head. Saddest part about this story? I was like 12!!

Lacey said...

I enjoyed reading your blog, thanks.